My Family Drives Me Crazy
I want to disown my family, they drive me mad
Family are funny creatures, aren’t they? At various times you love them or you hate them but you wouldn’t be without them. You don’t choose them yet even when you don’t really like them, you travel miles to be with together with them on special occasions, like Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Are you distressed by something going on in your family?
Maybe with a parent or a step-parent or possibly even an interfering mother-in-law? Or perhaps you are estranged from your siblings, or having to cope with step-siblings and half-siblings because you live in a blended family.
Maybe it’s your own children that are giving you grief?
Relationships with your own kids can be fraught with difficulty whether they still live at home and even after they’ve left. Sometimes your pain is not so much about what they do, but what they don’t do.
Families can be so complicated and you can get so caught up with emotions that you don’t even understand. You can get angry and jealous, feel guilt and remorse, intense love and also resentment – sometimes even at the same time.
Family can hurt you more than you ever thought possible.
Family dynamics can change at different stages of life – when there is an illness, trauma or disability, when your kids leave home or when parents get old and more demanding of your time.
Some shoulder their responsibilities with love, others make choices not to. This in itself can cause conflict amongst different family members. We can blame others for our painful feelings, or we can make a decision about the type of relationship we want with our parents, siblings or children (even our in-laws!) and then go for it!
First, identify the feelings you have
First task is to identify the feelings you have, and work out where they come from, and what the triggers are to get you feeling so upset. Once you know that, you can use learned strategies to manage your emotions better, and not get so stressed. Then you can be the person you want to be in the relationship, regardless of how much the other person drives you crazy!